"Lost in My Mind" Again

So some days, in this cycle we seem to have, I awake thinking of how "in despair I am" and how I want to exact some sort of . . .

What?  Nothing useful appears.

Revenge?  Meanness?  Do I want to make you feel my own personal brand of suffering?  Shrug.

I hope someday, we can meet in Peace.

And so I have to direct my attention to a beautiful peace.  And I focus on THIS.  Create a beautiful book, or painting, or poem or writing.   Focus on the beautiful.  Send prayers out into the universe.  No obligation to you.

(I was talking about you last night to a friend.  She said (spontaneously) that we were connected in a past life.  Which, somehow I believe still.  (But not if it scares you in any way, it's just a metaphor for why I feel connected to you somehow.  And how I don't want anything from you that you can't give.  I believe there IS stuff you can give.  Don't make it hard.  Show up to the friendship. That's all.)

Maybe, someday, if you ever doubt my faithfulness, I can show this to you.  Show how I NEVER stopped writing to you, NEVER gave up.  (Despite what I may say to myself or if I give you the look of despair).  I KNOW you are in there.  I have no idea how to get to you.

And so, this focus on BEAUTY.  Like a glimmering treasure of silver light.  Easy and beautiful.

==
Actually, the ONE song that always makes me think of my friend down the hall is by The Head and The Heart.

Okay, the video is weird and a bit distracting.

But the lyrics are some of the most beautiful and simple and RELEVANT poetry for you/me/us.

                                "Lost In My Mind" By the Head and The Heart

Put your dreams away for now
I won't see you for some time
I am lost in my mind
I get lost in my mind

Momma once told me
You're already home where you feel loved
I am lost in my mind
I get lost in my mind

Oh my brother
Your wisdom is older than me
Oh my brother
Don't you worry 'bout me

Don't you worry
Don't you worry, don't worry about me

How's that bricklayin' comin'?
How's your engine runnin'?
Is that bridge gettin' built?
Are your hands gettin' filled?
Won't you tell me, my brother?

'Cause there are stars
Up above

We can start
Moving forward

How's that bricklayin' comin'?
How's your engine runnin'?
Is that bridge gettin' built?
Are your hands gettin' filled?
Won't you tell me, my brother?

'Cause there are stars
Up above

We can start
Moving forward

Lost in my mind
Lost in my mind
Oh I get lost in my mind
Lost, I get lost

I get lost in my mind
Lost in my mind
Yes I get lost in my mind,
Lost, I get lost
I get lost

Oh I get lost

Oh I get...