Saturday, December 8, 2012

A Place Where There's No Space or Time

Prince Charming would go into hibernation.  The Girl Tinkerer would go for months without seeing him or any evidence of his presence.  She imagined him as having encountered the same thistle needle as Sleeping Beauty or Rip van Winkle.  He seemed to sleep through the entire winter, like a bear in his cave.

Sometimes she would get messages on her scroll from him.  Or at least, they were signed with his name.  But she was never really sure.  It sounded more like a bear.

A week would go by, and then:“Just a note to say hi,”and she’d respond.  And somehow he’d  get mad and stop writing.  She eventually made sure not to take offense if it was a Friday, Saturday or Sunday.  She wasn’t sure why, but those days he sounded less like himself.  Whatever she thought the idea of “him” was.  

And sadly, those dark nights of winter, when the sun set in the middle of the day and made everyne sadder than usual, those were the times when she needed a friend most.  Luckily, she had her laboratory, and a voice to sing with. Looking back, she always wished she had spent less time worrying and crying, and more time creating and singing.

She had even figured out a recipe for Love.  Creating Love is actually easier than anyone thinks.  But like a good sourdough, it requires a tiny piece of the past to build on, and LOTS of patience to let it rise as it needs to.

And so, she collected a phrase he had spoken to her when he was about to cry, his heart-shaped smile when she was in trouble, the music of a casual joke he had made and spun them together, like fine and delicate sugar into cotton candy.

She tossed out all the inedible bits, the sadness, all the doubts he had, all his silences.  She picked out all the bits of inappropriate temper, all the words he said to her that came out as a snarl.  Like garlic and onions, she peeled away anger and sadness in his words, and
tossed away all that thin clinging outer layer.

Even though she was trying to be a Tinkerer, it wasn't her natural calling. Sometimes she'd be lucky or clever. Sometimes everything would just blow up in her face. But she kept persisting, because she could see things that others couldn't.


She knew that she was both cursed and blessed as a Seer. She could see him as a brother, as an ally.  Clearer than she could see the sun.  And she also knew that he couldn’t see it.  That he was trapped in a world haunted by a dragon.  That was all he was looking for, and so it was all he saw.  She didn’t have faith that she could help him, and had no hopes of “saving” him.  

But she knew he would be pivotal in her life.  That there was something that he could teach her, and maybe if she was lucky, she could return the favor.

She imagined her life as being stuck in a video game.  He held some power, some tool, some kind of life-experience points she needed to access.    Only he often refused to play the game.  

She wanted to Rage Quit, to shut it all off, try another game with characters who wanted to play.  And she did.  It was refreshing.  But none of those characters held the kind of magic she needed.  She just found herself stuck in someone else’s game.  She had absolutely zero interest in hearing how fast someone could make his new expensive car go.  Racing games only interested her if she was the driver.

So she spent a lot of her time waiting around for him.  Trying not to get sucked into the Sorrows of Despair herself.  She had looked into the Abyss and found It looking back at her.  

She tried to stay away from the Abyss.  


But some days it was hard.  Especially knowing that he spent his days at its edge. She was never sure if he was sucked in.

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