Once upon a time, there was a Boy locked in an Impossibly Tall Tall Tower.
There was also a Girl in this story. And she begged him to unravel his hair, to lower it down to her. He was completely puzzled as to how he was intended to escape his imprisonment, as anything lowered down to the ground would only seem to only allow for access up. And his hair wasn’t THAT long, after all.
But he Shrugged. And let it fall where it may.
And was astonished to find that his locks reached the ground and made a perfect hair-ladder for her to climb.
In a flash, she was next to him.
“Here”, she said, “take this Invisible Magic Wand”
“Is this for Invisible Magic?” he asked, trying to be funny under the bleak circumstances.
“It’s for everything,” she said. “It’s better than potions and magic spells and all the evil powers in the universe. It can be used against all Dragons, everywhere.”
But he knew how strong his Dragons were.
He looked at her doubtfully.
“How is this supposed to help?”
“How can it not? Look, you don’t think I climbed up to this Impossibly Tall Tall Tower on your bangs, do you?”
He shook his head and realized that his hair wasn’t really THAT long after all. And that he was probably stuck in a dream or prolonged metaphor of some kind.
“So, all I have to do is wave this invisible stick and everything will be better?”
“Um, it doesn’t really work like that,” she said,
“Where’d it go?” he was suddenly annoyed that he had already lost his one magic tool, even though he knew that invisible things were especially easy to misplace.
“First of all, you can’t lose it. It follows you around somehow. IT waves at YOU.”
“Oh.” He was still confused. “And THEN everything will get better?”
“The Good News is that is protects you somehow. Grants you a magic power you didn’t realize you had. Or that you needed,”
“And the Bad News?” For he knew there was always Bad News to counteract the Good.
“Duh! The Bad News is that it’s Invisible! So you forget that it’s there. And it’s really hard to notice that any Magic power has been created or destroyed or whatever. It’s not like there will be any fireworks,”
“So how do I know that it’s working?” he asked, getting impatient and incredulous.
“Um, more Bad News. You don’t. You might be able to figure it out in hindsight, but, yeah, at the time, it’s pretty much gonna feel useless.”
“Oh brother!” he rolled his eyes. “Look, can’t you give me like a potion or something?”
She heaved a big sigh. “Yeah, the Psychopharmacologists are working on that. Their magic isn’t perfect either. But maybe all these things in combination . . .” her rising intonation did little to appease his worries. But, her magic had appeared out of nowhere, and that was better than the lack of magic.
Suddenly, he could hear his Dragon approaching. Huge sounds of everything evil reached their ears and made them both wince.
“Uh-oh, gotta go!” the girl said as she looked out of the window.
“You’re leaving me now??” he asked, now completely impatient and frustrated at the Girl’s well intentioned but utterly useless visit. The Dragon’s footsteps were getting closer and closer, shaking the brick walls of the Impossibly Tall Tall Tower. He felt the familiar shadow of Dread as the monster came nearer and nearer.
“Exactly the opposite,” she said as she looked deep into his eyes. Suddenly he saw her shatter and burst into a million tiny words, like the firecracker she had said the Invisible Magic Wand wouldn’t turn into. They swirled everywhere around him until they melted like magnets and formed a suit of armor, thicker than any Dragon’s tooth. Somehow the suit was still pliable and comfy, which was quite a relief to him as the Impossibly Tall Tall Tower began to crumble and he rode the wave of broken bricks and mortar into the valley.
He was wondering why that ride suddenly felt so familiar, and why the suit repelled dust so quickly and efficiently when he heard the Dragon’s growl ending in a coherent sentence.
“You are stuck with me!” The Dragon roared, looking as mean as ever.
The Boy could take it no longer. All the years of running and dreading finally got to him. He decided to fight back in the most evil and fiercest persona he could conjure up. The universally dreaded Common American Teenager.
“So what?” the Boy roared back.
“Uh, so don’t think you can run away. Because, um, you can’t!” The Dragon stammered.
“Yeah, so?” His newfound frustration reached a breaking point. “So, you’re just gonna keep chasing me? Is that the idea?”
“That’s what my contract says, yeah,” The Dragon rested his fist on his hip.
“Can’t we like, come to an agreement about this, or something? Work in a vacation or two?” The Boy looked up through the visor on his suit of armor, still slightly afraid to raise it completely. Not for fear of injury, but he knew the Dragon’s breath always stank to high heaven.
“Look, kid, you know we aren’t supposed to discuss the terms of The Curse!” Now the Dragon tried to fold his puny little arms in front of him.
The Knight-Boy stifled a giggle. “But what if we did? I mean, this can’t be any fun for you.”
“Well, this is the only job I can get and still be a Dragon. I’m not cute enough for the cartoons,” the giant Dragon began tearing up. He knew that he himself was cursed on many levels. Not only did Kleenex not exist in this version of reality, but his teeny arms could not reach up past his shoulders.
Our hero suddenly summoned up even more courage than he realized he possessed. As nonchalantly as he could, he leaned over some of the rubble and decided to ask the Scary Question.
“Hey. Have you ever heard of an Invisible Magic Wand?”
“Shit!” The Dragon snapped his fingers. “You got one of those?”
“Hand delivered not 10 minutes ago!”
The Dragon rolled his head back and sighed a giant sigh of exasperation. The clouds above his head turned green from the fumes. It was bad enough that the Boy had a new magic weapon, but the Dragon had no idea what it could be used for. It’s kinda bad for your opponent to draw his secret weapon in the midst of battle, but WAY more embarrassing if he knows you failed the Secret Weapon Exam and calls you on it.
“Let me get back to you on that. Okay, I don’t know what it means, but I know it’s gonna cause me a shitload of paperwork. Can we meet back here again in another couple of weeks?”
This dance was the part of the negotiation they both knew they were lying about. They never kept their appointments. Which was one of the excuses the Dragon used for his anger. He always had to chase the Boy, find him wherever he was and take him by surprise.
But the Boy had been getting bigger and stronger. And every time, he had been getting better and stronger tools. And every time, the Dragon was just a little more injured, a little weaker, even though he would never let the Boy know. But every time, the Boy had a just a little bit more Magic on his side.
9/4/12
There was also a Girl in this story. And she begged him to unravel his hair, to lower it down to her. He was completely puzzled as to how he was intended to escape his imprisonment, as anything lowered down to the ground would only seem to only allow for access up. And his hair wasn’t THAT long, after all.
But he Shrugged. And let it fall where it may.
And was astonished to find that his locks reached the ground and made a perfect hair-ladder for her to climb.
In a flash, she was next to him.
“Here”, she said, “take this Invisible Magic Wand”
“Is this for Invisible Magic?” he asked, trying to be funny under the bleak circumstances.
“It’s for everything,” she said. “It’s better than potions and magic spells and all the evil powers in the universe. It can be used against all Dragons, everywhere.”
But he knew how strong his Dragons were.
He looked at her doubtfully.
“How is this supposed to help?”
“How can it not? Look, you don’t think I climbed up to this Impossibly Tall Tall Tower on your bangs, do you?”
He shook his head and realized that his hair wasn’t really THAT long after all. And that he was probably stuck in a dream or prolonged metaphor of some kind.
“So, all I have to do is wave this invisible stick and everything will be better?”
“Um, it doesn’t really work like that,” she said,
“Where’d it go?” he was suddenly annoyed that he had already lost his one magic tool, even though he knew that invisible things were especially easy to misplace.
“First of all, you can’t lose it. It follows you around somehow. IT waves at YOU.”
“Oh.” He was still confused. “And THEN everything will get better?”
“The Good News is that is protects you somehow. Grants you a magic power you didn’t realize you had. Or that you needed,”
“And the Bad News?” For he knew there was always Bad News to counteract the Good.
“Duh! The Bad News is that it’s Invisible! So you forget that it’s there. And it’s really hard to notice that any Magic power has been created or destroyed or whatever. It’s not like there will be any fireworks,”
“So how do I know that it’s working?” he asked, getting impatient and incredulous.
“Um, more Bad News. You don’t. You might be able to figure it out in hindsight, but, yeah, at the time, it’s pretty much gonna feel useless.”
“Oh brother!” he rolled his eyes. “Look, can’t you give me like a potion or something?”
She heaved a big sigh. “Yeah, the Psychopharmacologists are working on that. Their magic isn’t perfect either. But maybe all these things in combination . . .” her rising intonation did little to appease his worries. But, her magic had appeared out of nowhere, and that was better than the lack of magic.
Suddenly, he could hear his Dragon approaching. Huge sounds of everything evil reached their ears and made them both wince.
“Uh-oh, gotta go!” the girl said as she looked out of the window.
“You’re leaving me now??” he asked, now completely impatient and frustrated at the Girl’s well intentioned but utterly useless visit. The Dragon’s footsteps were getting closer and closer, shaking the brick walls of the Impossibly Tall Tall Tower. He felt the familiar shadow of Dread as the monster came nearer and nearer.
“Exactly the opposite,” she said as she looked deep into his eyes. Suddenly he saw her shatter and burst into a million tiny words, like the firecracker she had said the Invisible Magic Wand wouldn’t turn into. They swirled everywhere around him until they melted like magnets and formed a suit of armor, thicker than any Dragon’s tooth. Somehow the suit was still pliable and comfy, which was quite a relief to him as the Impossibly Tall Tall Tower began to crumble and he rode the wave of broken bricks and mortar into the valley.
He was wondering why that ride suddenly felt so familiar, and why the suit repelled dust so quickly and efficiently when he heard the Dragon’s growl ending in a coherent sentence.
“You are stuck with me!” The Dragon roared, looking as mean as ever.
The Boy could take it no longer. All the years of running and dreading finally got to him. He decided to fight back in the most evil and fiercest persona he could conjure up. The universally dreaded Common American Teenager.
“So what?” the Boy roared back.
“Uh, so don’t think you can run away. Because, um, you can’t!” The Dragon stammered.
“Yeah, so?” His newfound frustration reached a breaking point. “So, you’re just gonna keep chasing me? Is that the idea?”
“That’s what my contract says, yeah,” The Dragon rested his fist on his hip.
“Can’t we like, come to an agreement about this, or something? Work in a vacation or two?” The Boy looked up through the visor on his suit of armor, still slightly afraid to raise it completely. Not for fear of injury, but he knew the Dragon’s breath always stank to high heaven.
“Look, kid, you know we aren’t supposed to discuss the terms of The Curse!” Now the Dragon tried to fold his puny little arms in front of him.
The Knight-Boy stifled a giggle. “But what if we did? I mean, this can’t be any fun for you.”
“Well, this is the only job I can get and still be a Dragon. I’m not cute enough for the cartoons,” the giant Dragon began tearing up. He knew that he himself was cursed on many levels. Not only did Kleenex not exist in this version of reality, but his teeny arms could not reach up past his shoulders.
Our hero suddenly summoned up even more courage than he realized he possessed. As nonchalantly as he could, he leaned over some of the rubble and decided to ask the Scary Question.
“Hey. Have you ever heard of an Invisible Magic Wand?”
“Shit!” The Dragon snapped his fingers. “You got one of those?”
“Hand delivered not 10 minutes ago!”
The Dragon rolled his head back and sighed a giant sigh of exasperation. The clouds above his head turned green from the fumes. It was bad enough that the Boy had a new magic weapon, but the Dragon had no idea what it could be used for. It’s kinda bad for your opponent to draw his secret weapon in the midst of battle, but WAY more embarrassing if he knows you failed the Secret Weapon Exam and calls you on it.
“Let me get back to you on that. Okay, I don’t know what it means, but I know it’s gonna cause me a shitload of paperwork. Can we meet back here again in another couple of weeks?”
This dance was the part of the negotiation they both knew they were lying about. They never kept their appointments. Which was one of the excuses the Dragon used for his anger. He always had to chase the Boy, find him wherever he was and take him by surprise.
But the Boy had been getting bigger and stronger. And every time, he had been getting better and stronger tools. And every time, the Dragon was just a little more injured, a little weaker, even though he would never let the Boy know. But every time, the Boy had a just a little bit more Magic on his side.
9/4/12
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