So I read this article, "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother".
I know how mental illness can be inherited. How your mom's dad had issues, was depressed in between the births of some of the children. He wanted to die.
I strongly suspect it might be why Superman has never had any children. He'd be the type not to have children because he wouldn't want to pass on the gene. Or maybe not have kids who would have a father like him.
(I'm not having kids because I can't guarantee that I'll be around. Not the issue of CS or depression, even if I was on an even keel, I'd be a victim of fate. Like my own father. Real life has enough to be sad about, even if your brain chemistry is fine.)
"20 is within the age of risk".
You are 8. I pray that as you age, your own brain chemistry will remain clear. Strange things happen as kids turn into teenagers. I hope we always remain friends. That you can turn to me (or at least someone) when things go wrong.
Even now, I'm dreading the day when I'll move out or move away. I hope we keep in touch. (There was a roommate in my life, like an older sister, still)
I have no idea what will happen. To us as people, to all these characters we have swirling around us in real life. I hope that this blog will always exist somewhere on the internet.
I hope that you can always look this up and see the beautiful boy that is in the next room. I'm trying to paint a portrait of you. Of us and the world we are in right now. I want to create a world of safety and Love and to make this moment in time as real as possible. The 10th Sunday in Ordinary Time.
Maybe someday, if I can, I'll try to share this with Superman. And your Mom. This is how I understand life. And the only way I can express Love to everyone.
PS I'm writing this while listening to the 43rd Christmas Show of Jonathan Schwartz on WNYC. The Pizzarellis, etc. American Songbook type stuff. Not your Daddy's Jazz. Turn it on. (The hourly news just came on, about more of the shootings in CT. I'm leaving to get some coffee. Maybe I'll hug you if I can.)
I know how mental illness can be inherited. How your mom's dad had issues, was depressed in between the births of some of the children. He wanted to die.
I strongly suspect it might be why Superman has never had any children. He'd be the type not to have children because he wouldn't want to pass on the gene. Or maybe not have kids who would have a father like him.
(I'm not having kids because I can't guarantee that I'll be around. Not the issue of CS or depression, even if I was on an even keel, I'd be a victim of fate. Like my own father. Real life has enough to be sad about, even if your brain chemistry is fine.)
"20 is within the age of risk".
You are 8. I pray that as you age, your own brain chemistry will remain clear. Strange things happen as kids turn into teenagers. I hope we always remain friends. That you can turn to me (or at least someone) when things go wrong.
Even now, I'm dreading the day when I'll move out or move away. I hope we keep in touch. (There was a roommate in my life, like an older sister, still)
I have no idea what will happen. To us as people, to all these characters we have swirling around us in real life. I hope that this blog will always exist somewhere on the internet.
I hope that you can always look this up and see the beautiful boy that is in the next room. I'm trying to paint a portrait of you. Of us and the world we are in right now. I want to create a world of safety and Love and to make this moment in time as real as possible. The 10th Sunday in Ordinary Time.
Maybe someday, if I can, I'll try to share this with Superman. And your Mom. This is how I understand life. And the only way I can express Love to everyone.
PS I'm writing this while listening to the 43rd Christmas Show of Jonathan Schwartz on WNYC. The Pizzarellis, etc. American Songbook type stuff. Not your Daddy's Jazz. Turn it on. (The hourly news just came on, about more of the shootings in CT. I'm leaving to get some coffee. Maybe I'll hug you if I can.)
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